Tag Archive | "Mike Tyson"

Louis Oosthuizen, the Grin that’s ‘In’

As South African, Louis Oosthuizen, approached the 18th green at St. Andrews, a beaming smile crossed his face, and why not, he led by seven strokes and was about to be crowned The British Open Champion. It was quite an impressive gap.  Not the distance between he and runner-up, Lee Westwood, but rather the noticeably vacant space between Louis’ upper incisors. 

Oosty’s excitement was to be expected, but its parents everywhere that should be thrilled, because a less than perfect smile is no longer a surefire precursor to a life filled with failure, and a second mortgage to pay for children’s braces and retainers is no longer necessary. 

The ability to eat corn on the cob through a picket fence is not the only skill the bucktoothed brethren enjoy.  The group of talented toothies include musicians Madonna, Elton John and Seal, actors Laurence Fishbourne, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Anna Paquin, comedians David Letterman and Eddie Murphy and now athletes.

As The Open Champion, Oosthuizen joins a list of accomplished athletes that are afflicted, but not inhibited by diastema, a technical dental term defined as a gap or space between two teeth.  Other orthodontic-challenged athletes include New York Giants Super Bowl Champion Michael Strahan and former Heavyweight Champion Mike Tyson.   

Unfortunately for athletes, the locker room can be home to the harshest of hazing, and in fact, one of Strahan’s former teammates once referred to his grill as “antlers in his mouth”.  While that may be a little unkind, what Kirstie Alley is to Jenny Craig, Strahan could be to Invisalign.  And, while the golfer is currently known to many of his fellow competitors as “Shrek”, it’s only a matter of time before the comparisons to Alfred E. Newman are made.  

Sunday’s win was the first major victory for the young South African, but just as important, it was a victory for the dentally-retarded everywhere.   Let’s hope the sudden success does not go to his head, literally, and Louis feels the need to spend any of his winnings on veneers, because the gap-toothed grin is in.

Used with permission of the author.

 Pat Schueppert is a contributor to Sports Climax who grew up on the frozen tundra and bleeds Packer green and gold. The Wisconsin native, while staying loyal to his teams in his home state declares he has never worn a ‘cheesehead’ and “The Bears still suck!”

Copyright ©2010 Sports Climax, LLC

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Sharks, vampires and athletes

Biting incidents in sports are nothing new, but with mega-billions of bytes passing through high-speed Internet AP Photoconnections worldwide on a daily basis, the most recent perpetrators are gaining notoriety overnight.If fans want to be entertained by biting, they can tune in to Discovery’s Shark Week or pick up an Anne Rice vampire novel; it doesn’t belong in sports.

Sport’s most recent chomper is a high-school kid by the name of Cody Fields from Springfield, Ohio. Fields took a morsel out of a recent opponent during a wrestling match, here’s the photo.

It’s possible Fields is an NHL hockey fan and stole the move from Ottawa Senator Jarrko Ruutu’s playbook. Ruutu just last week clamped down on an opponent’s thumb during a hockey skirmish and the ruthless act cost him a two-game suspension, $31,707.32 in salary and a place in the NHL biters Hall of Fame joining Derian Hatcher and Jordin Tootoo.

Back to that wrestling kid Fields from Springfield.

Lucky for his opponent he isn’t an Australian Football fan following in the footsteps of players like Australian footballer Peter Filandia who was suspended for 10 games after admitting to biting the scrotum of another player during a match.

Filandia’s excuse was he was being smothered under a pile and biting his opponent’s sac was a reflex move.

To date the most famous biter has to be Mike Tyson who chewed a visible chunk of flesh out of Evander Holyfield’s ear during a fight in 1997. After spitting it out in front of a shocked crowd, the fight was stopped and Tyson was disqualified.

Decades earlier, to Tyson’s brutal act, Sports Illustrated named NFL tough guy Conrad Dobler the “Pro Football’s Dirtiest Player” in 1977 after Dobler admitted biting Minnesota Viking Doug Sutherland during a game.

Dobler offered no excuse because, well, he was the dirtiest player in the league.

Regardless what the excuses or reasons are, it’s time to clamp down on these embarrassing infractions. Simple rule is, unless you’re McGruff the Crime Dog, you shouldn’t be taking a bite out of anything.

Copyright © 2009 – Sports Climax

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