As South African, Louis Oosthuizen, approached the 18th green at St. Andrews, a beaming smile crossed his face, and why not, he led by seven strokes and was about to be crowned The British Open Champion. It was quite an impressive gap. Not the distance between he and runner-up, Lee Westwood, but rather the noticeably vacant space between Louis’ upper incisors. 
Oosty’s excitement was to be expected, but its parents everywhere that should be thrilled, because a less than perfect smile is no longer a surefire precursor to a life filled with failure, and a second mortgage to pay for children’s braces and retainers is no longer necessary.
The ability to eat corn on the cob through a picket fence is not the only skill the bucktoothed brethren enjoy. The group of talented toothies include musicians Madonna, Elton John and Seal, actors Laurence Fishbourne, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Anna Paquin, comedians David Letterman and Eddie Murphy and now athletes.
As The Open Champion, Oosthuizen joins a list of accomplished athletes that are afflicted, but not inhibited by diastema, a technical dental term defined as a gap or space between two teeth. Other orthodontic-challenged athletes include New York Giants Super Bowl Champion Michael Strahan and former Heavyweight Champion Mike Tyson.
Unfortunately for athletes, the locker room can be home to the harshest of hazing, and in fact, one of Strahan’s former teammates once referred to his grill as “antlers in his mouth”. While that may be a little unkind, what Kirstie Alley is to Jenny Craig, Strahan could be to Invisalign. And, while the golfer is currently known to many of his fellow competitors as “Shrek”, it’s only a matter of time before the comparisons to Alfred E. Newman are made.
Sunday’s win was the first major victory for the young South African, but just as important, it was a victory for the dentally-retarded everywhere. Let’s hope the sudden success does not go to his head, literally, and Louis feels the need to spend any of his winnings on veneers, because the gap-toothed grin is in.
Used with permission of the author.
Pat Schueppert is a contributor to Sports Climax who grew up on the frozen tundra and bleeds Packer green and gold. The Wisconsin native, while staying loyal to his teams in his home state declares he has never worn a ‘cheesehead’ and “The Bears still suck!”
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