Now that Week 6 of college football is in the books, it’s time to again analyze what we’ve learned from the AP Top 25
teams.
No.1 Alabama vs. No.19 South Carolina. Cocks pound ‘Bama 35-21.
What did we learn?
1) ‘Cocks can penetrate. . . even the best defenses.
2) All you have to do to beat Alabama is: stop a fake field goal (otherwise known as a “Cock block”) hold the reigning Heisman Trophy winner to 41 rushing yards and have the kicker miss an extra point and a field goal.
No.2 Ohio State vs. Indiana. Buckeyes win 38-10.
What did we learn?
1) It’s not a good sign when your punter has more yards than all three of your quarterbacks combined.
2) We are all better quarterbacks than freshman Ken Guiton who finished the game with a negative 200 passer rating.
No.3 Oregon vs. Washington State. Oregon wins 43-23.
What did we learn?
1) If the team that scores second decided this game, then WSU would have won.
2) You can beat a 1-5 team with a backup quarterback.
No.4 Boise State vs. Toledo. Broncos win 57-14.
What did we learn?
1) Watching the Broncos play at home is like staring at a Magic Eye book for two-and-a-half straight hours.
2) Toledo’s mascot is Rocky the Rocket. He is not very inspirational and he should consider getting a few pointers from “Scrotie” the Rhode Island Nads’ mascot who dresses up like a giant penis.
No.5 TCU vs. Wyoming. Horned Frogs win 45-0.
What did we learn?
1) This could easily have been a 45-3 type of game.
2) Not converting 3rd downs is a terrible strategy… so is not scoring.
No.7 Nebraska vs. Kansas State. Nebraska wins 48-13.
What did we learn?
1) White guys like to point at people after they score.
2) It’s hard to tackle someone when they are 15 yards ahead of you.
No.8 Auburn vs. Kentucky. Auburn wins 37-34.
What did we learn?
1) Cam Newton likes to blow kisses after a win on the road and he will not be held responsible of where they land.
2) Kentucky calls their ‘wildcat’ formation the ‘WildCobb’ formation. This has nothing to do with Ty Cobb.
No.9 Arizona vs. Oregon State. Oregon State wins 29-27.
What did we learn?
1) Oregon State loves players whose first name starts with the letter ‘J’.
2) PAT’s are not as easy to make as one would imagine.
No.10 Utah vs. Iowa State. Utah wins 68-27.
What did we learn?
1) What you do in the first quarter doesn’t matter if you give up 58 points in the next three.
2) Contrary to popular belief, black people from Compton can run fast.
No.11 Arkansas vs. Texas A&M. Razorbacks win 24-17.
What did we learn?
1) Jerrod Johnson has no problem throwing the ball 50 yards down the field and right into the opponent’s hands.
2) Ryan Mallett looks more like 6’7” than 6’6”.
No.12 LSU vs. No.14 Florida. LSU wins 33-29.
What did we learn?
1) Urban Meyer doesn’t believe in broken bones.
2) Apparently the best way to convert a fake field goal is to bounce the pass behind your head without looking.
No.13 Miami vs. No.23 Florida State. Seminoles win 45-17.
What did we learn?
1) Jimbo Fisher always knows when to kick the extra point.
2) Mouth guards fit snuggly behind your ear.
No.16 Stanford vs. USC. Stanford wins 37-35.
What did we learn?
1) It’s hard to play defense for a whole minute.
2) With no names on the USC jerseys, it’s nearly impossible to tell who screws up.
No.17 Michigan State vs. No.18 Michigan. MSU wins 34-17.
What did we learn?
1) Denard Robinson may be color-blind.
2) Paul Bunyan is much shorter than you may think.
No.20 Wisconsin vs. Minnesota. Wisconsin wins 41-23.
What did we learn?
1) Minnesota head coach Tim Brewster is not a fan of 2-point conversions.
2) Wisconsin head coach Bret Bielema thinks Tim Brewster is an idiot.
No.21 Nevada vs. San Jose State. Nevada wins 35-13.
What did we learn?
1) If you like rushing touchdowns, then you would have loved this game.
2) Solo tackles mean more to San Jose than touchdowns.
No.22 Oklahoma State vs. Louisiana-Lafayette. OK State wins 54-28.
What did we learn?
1) The Sun Belt conference does not shine as much as its name might suggest.
2) OK State kicker Dan Bailey is totally getting laid tonight.
No.24 Missouri vs. Colorado. Mizzou wins 26-0.
What did we learn?
1) There is a fence behind the Missouri end zone. It is great at keeping old men from charging the field.
2) Colorado is saving their best games for when they join the Pac-10 next year.
No.25 Air Force vs. Colorado State. Air Force wins 49-27.
What did we learn?
1) If there were an award for kicking 7 extra points in a game, Erik Soderberg would be the recipient.
2) The Rams would have only lost by 12 if the total yards counted as points and touchdowns and field goals meant nothing.
Here’s last week’s “What Did We Learn” column – Sports Climax
ABC Hires Matt Millen for Michigan Game, FAIL! – Sports Climax
Used with permission of the author.
Logan Rhoades is a Los Angeles-based writer and contributor to Sports Climax. With an extensive knowledge of ESPN topics and celebrity gossip, he is known for mixing sports and pop culture to entertain his readers. Check out his “Skip to My Logan” blog and Follow him on Twitter @loganrhoades.
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