Over the past couple years we have learned that the cost of flipping someone off in the NFL can range anywhere between $7,500 and $250,000. With such a wide range of prices, it can get confusing as to what exactly these “finees” (players and coaches) are paying for and how the “finer” (Roger Goodell) calculates the fee.

To get a further understanding of what goes into these birdie fine, we have developed an easy-to-follow flowchart. Good luck and please call the NFL main office at 212-450-2000 with any additional questions.

1) Are you a player?

Yes) Please continue to question 2.

No) Please skip down to question 4.

2) Are you a kicker?

Yes) You’ve been fined $7,500.

No) Please continue to question 3.

3) Are you Michael Vick?

Yes) You’ve been fined $10,000 and you have to donate an additional $10,000 to charity.

No) You’ve been fined $10,000.

4) Are you a coach?

Yes) Please continue to question 5.

No) Please skip to question 8.

5) Are you Rex Ryan?

Yes) You’ve been fined $50,000 and you will be called fat.

No) Please continue to question 6.

6) Are you a defensive coordinator?

Yes) You’ve been fined $40,000.

No) Please continue to question 7.

7) Are you sure you’ve answered the previous questions correctly?

Yes) Congratulations. Roger Goodell lost your birdie footage and you’re free to go.

No) Please continue to question 8.

8.) Are you the owner of the team?

Yes) Please continue to question 9.

No) Please skip to question 12.

9) Were you wearing a Titans’ powder blue suit during the incident?

Yes) You’ve been fined an extra $15,000. Please continue to question 10.

No) Please continue to question 10.

10) Did you display the middle finger on two hands, also known as a “double-bird”?

Yes) You’ve been fined an extra $35,000. Please continue to question 11.

No) Please continue to question 11.

11) How many times did you pump your middle finger?

1–3) You’ve been fined $60, 000

4-7) You’ve been fined $150,000.

8+) You’ve been fined $200,000.

12) Are you a fan?

Yes) Congratulations! No worries. Fans can’t get fined so feel free to throw them in mass quantities, individually or as a group, in the direction of all opposing sidelines. Just like the young soccer fan in the photo above is learning at a ripe age.

*An extra $1,000 is added to your fine for every swear word caught on camera. Good thing the audio wasn’t rolling when Rex Ryan king of the F-Bombs flipped off those beloved Dolphins’ fans in South Beach.

Used with permission of the author.

Logan Rhoades is a Los Angeles-based writer and contributor to Sports Climax. With an extensive knowledge of ESPN topics and celebrity gossip, he is known for mixing sports and pop culture to entertain his readers. Check out his “Skip to My Logan” blog and Follow him on Twitter @loganrhoades.

Copyright ©2010 Sports Climax, LLC

Week 4 college football can be summed up in two words: True Colors. And for the best examples, we need to turn to the teams in last year’s BCS National Championship game: Texas and Alabama.

Yes, the No. 7 Texas Longhorns were upset and many saw it coming… just not this soon.

This season, the Longhorns were like a Jenga tower; sooner or later they were going to tumble.

Instead of a tight knit structure like most people envisioned, the Longhorns were more like a team with a lot of missing pieces and it was only a matter of time before the Horns completely fell apart. Unfortunately for them it happened this weekend against the unranked UCLA Bruins and it was ugly.

With nothing clicking on offense or defense, the top ten Horns were slaughtered by the Bruins 34-12 in their home state of Texas, shocked at home for the first time since 2007.

Coming into the game, Texas was the top ranked rush defense in the FBS, allowing only 44 yards per game. Against the Bruins, the Longhorns gave up 264 with UCLA running the football right down Texas’ throat for the entire game. 

By the time the final whistle blew, the Bruins had given Mack Brown his worst loss in Texas history and showed the world how over ranked the Longhorns really were. You can be sure the voters won’t make that mistake again.

On that note, don’t expect the voters to forget how close No. 1 Alabama came to losing on Saturday to the No. 10 Arkansas Razorbacks.

Against the number one team in the land, the Razorbacks put up a pay-per-view worthy fight, but were unable to complete the upset due to costly mistakes late in the game by Heisman candidate quarterback Ryan Mallett.

With the game on the line and a winning drive taking shape, Mallett dropped back and placed the ball right into the arms of the Alabama secondary. Although Mallet finished with 357 passing yards in the game it was his final interception that will really be remembered and just like that, the upset was gone.

Unfortunately, Mallett’s performance outshines the impressive showing that his team displayed this weekend.

The fans and media will focus on the final score, but let’s not forget that the Razorbacks went toe-to-toe with the Crimson Tide for four quarters and were able to do what no other team has done this year: rattle Alabama quarterback Greg McElroy.

In the first half, McElroy looked less like the most effective passer in the nation and more like an out-of-rhythm redshirt freshman. He finished the day with two interceptions and his high-powered offense was only able to muster up 7 points in the first two quarters of the ballgame.

Despite McElroy’s mediocre showing, the Crimson Tide were able to do what all good teams do: win the game. It might not have been pretty, but the Tide walked away with a 24-20 victory while keeping their No.1 ranking intact.

All in all, we learned two very important things from this weekend:

1) Good teams find ways to win.

2) You can’t hide behind your name and legacy; you actually have to play the game.

Used with permission of the author.

Logan Rhoades is a Los Angeles-based writer and contributor to Sports Climax. With an extensive knowledge of ESPN topics and celebrity gossip, he is known for mixing sports and pop culture to entertain his readers. Check out his blog and Follow him on Twitter @loganrhoades.

Copyright ©2010 Sports Climax, LLC

Congratulations Alabama! You have finally lived up to your expectations. You are officially dumb.

Your ‘University’ may have the No. 1 spot in the pre-season football polls, but misspelling Mississippi on your tickets has put you back in the second grade. The good news is that all of your students can now have that recess time they have been asking for. The bad news is that it is tough to recruit during Man on Sand.

Let’s be real, we all kind of expected it, but this recent ‘slip’ has just cemented our feelings that Alabama is only good for one thing: Entertainment. And I’m not talking about the football games.

Alabama is always the go-to-state when we think of rednecks and people kissing cousins.

Sure, it’s comical to poke fun at Alabama, but now it has just become clear that even the most educated people in that state still belong in elementary school.

Mississippi is the only state that I can spell without thinking. Mi-ss-iss-ippi. I can bust that thing out in 1.78 seconds. Why? Because I have been spelling it ever since I could tie my own shoes. And I am confident that this is the same case for everyone else, besides residents of Alabama. I will admit that spelling can be tricky sometimes, but this is just pathetic.

Mississippi has been a neighbor of Alabama for literally hundreds of years. Is it possible that no one in that school knows how to spell correctly? Did all 28,000 students and more than 1,000 faculty members all look at that ticket and not see anything wrong with it?

I know its summer time, but computers still do have spell check. Unless these tickets were completed on a typewriter, there is no excuse for this.

Well Crimson Tide, you may have the reigning Heisman trophy winner back, but I leave you with some words of advice, spell check the name on his jersey.

Used with permission of the author.

Logan Rhoades is a Los Angeles-based writer and contributor to Sports Climax. With an extensive knowledge of ESPN topics and celebrity gossip, he is known for mixing sports and pop culture to entertain his readers. Follow him on Twitter @loganrhoades.

Copyright ©2010 Sports Climax, LLC