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Lakers get bitch slapped in sweep


Phil Jackson’s legacy ended with a bitch-slap this past Sunday compliments of the Dallas Mavericks who completed their sweep against the Los Angeles Lakers in record style.

Instead of heading into retirement with another championship ring, Jackson left to the thunderous sound of “Na-Na Na, Na… Na-Na, Na, Na…Hey, Hey, Hey… Goodbye!” bouncing off the rafters.

Although that dreaded song was not actually aimed at the most successful coach in NBA history it was dedicated to his team and their pathetic showing during a series where they spent half the time as no-shows. This earned the Lakers our Bitch-Slap-of-the-Week.

Let’s take a look back at this early playoff exit, shall we? (Cue the Wayne’s World flashback)

In Game 1, the Lakers blew a 16-point lead that culminated in two missed chances by Kobe Bryant in the final seconds to force the game into OT. The result was a two-point loss at home in front of a stunned celebrity crowd and an even more surprised Black Mamba, who did not even attempt a single layup or dunk during the entire game. Some would say this was a “steal”, but it’s safe to say that this game was more of a “giveaway” than anything else. Nice gesture by the Lakers, in my opinion.

Game 2 was highlighted with a clothesline on JJ Barea from Ron Artest, which led to his suspension in Game 3, and a 0-15 streak from behind the arc, which was only broken in the last few minutes of the game. By the time the final whistle blew, the Lakers had been defeated both mentally and physically and were greeted with boos as they left the court. During the post-game presser, Andrew Bynum decided to expose the team as having “trust issues” and stated that it was “deeply rooted”. Even though Bryant and Jackson dismissed these comments, it was too late, for the rumor mill was now in full force.

Perhaps the biggest rumor to be thrown into the mix was that Pau Gasol was underperforming because of an alleged bad breakup with his girlfriend. This came as a big shock, mostly because it came out of nowhere, but also because he’s a professional athlete and this is the playoffs we’re talking about. The playoffs. Although this rumor was later cleared, it still left plenty of spectators judging the 7-foot center, and there are still a ton of people out there that believe this to be true.

Game 3 featured another come-from-behind victory for the Mavericks as they erased a seven-point deficit with 5:05 left in the game. The Lakers gave up 32 points in the final quarter, which is unheard of in the Jackson-playoff era, and made “some of the dumbest defensive mistakes” the team has made all year long, as quoted by Kobe Bryant. The team looked exhausted and fatigued during the final stretch of the game and it would eventually carry over to the next game.

Game 4 will go down in the record books as one of the worst Los Angeles Lakers games in history. For the sake of time, we will not go over everything that went wrong. So here is a fast recap of what happened:

The Mavericks tied an NBA post-season record with eleven three-pointers in the first half and twenty for the game. Jason Terry tied a playoff record by making nine of those and the team finished with an improbable 74.0 field goal percentage. Ron Artest missed a breakaway dunk. Lamar Odom and Andrew Bynum both got ejected for frustration-driven fouls, although Bynum’s was by far more bush league. And the Lakers lost by 36 points, an NBA record differential in a closing game, which could have been even higher if the starters didn’t sit out the final minutes.

It was by all accounts, a terrible game. And that is why the Los Angeles Lakers are this week’s recipient of our bitch slap. Teams need to show up. That’s what they’re expected and paid to do.

Well, there’s always next year…wait…no there’s not. You don’t even have a coach anymore. “SLAP!” Man, you guys are screwed.

Used with permission of the author.

Los Angeles Based Logan Rhoades is the Associate Editor of the website JocksBehindBars.com. With an extensive knowledge of ESPN topics and celebrity gossip, he is known for mixing sports and pop culture. Check out his “Skip to My Logan” blog and Follow him on Twitter @loganrhoades.

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