In case you haven’t heard of Jimmy Jump, he’s the idiot who jumped onto the field and tried touching the World Cup trophy during the presentation following Spain’s 1-0 victory over Netherlands.

Jump was within inches of accomplishing his feat when the trophy’s keeper, dressed in a suit, leveled him with a straight jab Muhammad Ali would have been proud of.

J.J. whose real name is Jaume Marquet Cot, succumbed to the punch, falling to the ground before being dragged away by Soccer City Stadium security and taken to jail.

Jump is lucky he wasn’t in Philadelphia or he may have been greeted by a Philly cop who may have fried his ass with a taser or two. Blow your Vuvuzelas to that.

This nimrod, Jump, is actually the same moron who has been disrupting sporting events for years including the 2009 French Open when he approached Roger Federer.

As mindless as this act was, it was one of the more exciting plays of the day after the championship game went scoreless after regulation and finished with a 1-0 score. Regardless, this guy who seems to be starving for attention, will be getting plenty in the South African jail where he may still be sitting; and for good measure we’re throwing in the Bitch-Slap-of-the-Week.

Video is below.

Used with permission of the author.

Jay Donetelli is a Tampa-based freelance sportswriter and contributor to Sports Climax. With an opinion sharper than an Ovechkin skate blade with the sting of an Ali jab, Donetelli has a loyal cult of readers who have found a way to love him.

Copyright ©2010 Sports Climax, LLC

SOMEWHERE IN WISCONSIN – The 2010 FIFA World Cup is upon us, and the entire country is pretending to be soccer crazy, including my editor on this website who before this month thought a ‘strike’ in sports only related to ten pins and a  bunch of drunks in a Tennessee bowling alley.

This aberration occurs every four years when everybody jumps on proverbial soccer mom’s minivan, but I refuse to submit to the hype.

It may be the world’s game, but it’s not mine. It’s boring and sucks–which is the least of my “Top 10 things I hate about the World Cup”–besides those f***ing Vuvuzelas!

1. The World Cup is like leap year, in that it occurs every four years. The only difference is it’s much less enjoyable. If it were up to me it would be every forty years, and I would award the upcoming 2050 games to Mars.

2. Players acting as if they have been shot by a sniper when in actuality they have only stubbed their toe. Now I know where Pau Gasol got his acting lessons.

3. Referees who wear ear pieces as if they’re secret service escorting the Pope through the national Boy Scout jamboree. All they need to complete the get up is a bustier with the pointy bra. Strike a pose?

4. Alexi Lalas’ smugness (and hairdo). Lex is the only English speaking person who buys Rosetta Stone to learn English. What do you suppose these announcers do with the other three years and eleven months?

5. Tie games. They’re like kissing your sister*. If I’m going to invest two hours of my life watching a nil-nil (see below) game, I’d rather visit my dentist (which reminds me, I need to make an appointment. It’s been four years, and it’s a more enjoyable use of my time).

6. The use of the stretcher to remove presumably injured (see above) players from the pitch (see below). They should play the M.A.S.H. theme song in the process; I swear I saw Hawkeye and Pierce carting a faker off the other day.

7. It’s called SOCCER. I played football. I love football. Football is a game we, as red-blooded Americans love. You, my friend, are no football. Quit pretending to be a cool sport, and go eat your orange slices.

8. The use of British terms: pace=speed, pitch=field, nil=zero, etc. It’s a bunch of bloody rubbish. See, there I go again. If we’re not careful, we’ll all be talking like Austin Powers and have bad teeth.

9. Those stupid headbands the players wear. They’re OK if you’re a 12 year-old girl, which now that I think about it, go ahead and wear them. They’re all you, dudes!

10. The excessive use of slow motion. Do I really need to see the Dutch coach scratch his balls at half the speed?

* . . . ’like kissing your sister analogy’ does not apply to residents of West Virginia.

MORE FIFA – It’s time for America to embrace FIFA horns &  U.S. ties England 1-1 in FIFA World Cup

Re-printed with permission of the author.

Pat Schueppert is a contributor to Sports Climax who grew up on the frozen tundra and bleeds Packer green and gold. The Wisconsin native, while staying loyal to his teams in his home state declares he has never worn a ‘cheesehead’ and “The Bears still suck!”.

Copyright ©2010 Sports Climax, LLC

After further review, this ‘horn-hater’ has ruled the ruling on the field should stand and the obnoxious non-stop blowing of Vuvuzelas at the FIFA World Cup 2010 in Johannesburg, South Africa should be allowed to continue.

Okay, I admit it is the most obnoxious thing I have ever seen or heard at any sporting event, right up there with some fat inebriated guy with a dirty jersey shouting obscene-laced one-liners at some innocent opposing players. BUT, Americans need to step back and cool it with the criticism and grass root campaigns to ‘ban the horns’ and except it as a unique custom of our friends from Africa.

Like most Americans, this year I decided to jump on the fast-moving bandwagon of FIFA and tuned in to several games including the highly-hyped U.S. vs. England contest Saturday. And like most people in this country, media and fans alike, I acquired an instant dislike for the constant noise of the Vuvuzelas that at first I thought was a horrible overseas signal struggling to make its way from one satellite to another and through my cable to my television set.

While I was Tweeting “WTF is that!” and “Somebody make it stop!!” Skip Bayless from First and 10 was Tweeting “I had to turn my TV sound off, I couldn’t stand it.”

On the flip side of that NBA player Al Horford of the Atlanta Hawks welcomed the noise Tweeting several times throughout the tourney in support of the custom.

Examiner.com Sports Columnist Paula Duffy says in her column today, ”we have thunder sticks in baseball and NBA basketball, air horns in football and even cowbells when the Sacramento Kings want to drive Lakers coach Phil Jackson round the bend.”

Now before writing your favorite Congressman, ask yourself, how would you respond if citizens from India started a campaign in the U.S. to stop eating meat because cows are ‘sacred’ and the next time you’re hunkered over a steak at the local Outback Steakhouse, a group of them asked you to please drop to your knees and worship your 48-ounce sirloin instead of eating it?

In Russia, the fans join together creating an ear-piercing whistle when they are displeased while here in the states we boo. Should we ask Russia to ban whistling next time we play them in the Olympics on their soil? If they asked us to convert our booing to whistling to avoid confusion to their country, we would tell them the same thing we would tell the India folks who wanted us to praise our steak, “Shove it where objects are only supposed to exit.”

Africa’s business pertaining to sports is their business and if we are interested in jumping on board to take part in the FIFA activities and support Futbol, then we need to chill out and take a step back, way back.

The Vuvuzelas blowing is actually a really a cool tradition when you think about it. These fans are dedicated to spending hours, yes with a plural, pumping wind into these instruments non-stop. That’s more stamina then would have been required for any of the hell raising I did with my counterparts at raucous Olympia Stadium and Historic Tiger Stadium when I was a youngster growing up in Detroit and believe me, we blew the frickin’ roof off those places more than a few times.

Hats off to the people of Africa and the FIFA fans for introducing this unique custom to our country, and hopefully as I have done, many of you will get used to the African fans and their Vuvuzelas and welcome them with open arms.

Copyright © 2010 Sports Climax, LLC

Yesterday’s 1-1 tie in the FIFA World Cup between the U.S. and England will be perceived in two different ways, depending on what side of the globe you are on. The Brits who went into the contest as heavy favorites will certainly consider this like a loss while America is celebrating the point like it were a victory.

The Group C game started with the field leaning in England’s favor and the Three Lions striking first and early with only four minutes on the clock but the Americans battled back with strong defense and capitalized on a blunder by England’s goalkeeper Robert Green to tie the game at the 40 minute mark.

American, Clint Dempsey directed a routine 25-yard kick towards England’s net and when Green leaned over to scoop it up, he misjudged the roller allowing the ball to bounce off his hands and into the net.

“I really felt for [Green] tonight and I did have mixed emotions when the goal went in,” said U.S, goalkeeper Tim Howard. “It’s never good to see and there’s nothing you can say or do to make him feel better.”

Green was given the nod by coach Fabio Capello to start the match ahead of David James and Joe Hart and now there is speculation the Brits may make a change for their next contest later this week.

The contest was expected my many to be dominated by England but the U.S. hung close statistically throughout the match. When it was in the books the edge in shots was England 18 to U.S. 13 with an edge in possession of 54% to 46%; closer than many expected.

With the game tied late, England came on strong but Howard held his ground, making six saves and shutting down Wayne Rooney and the Three Lions.

After the game, Howard seemed content coming away with the point:

“We’ll take more out of a draw than they will. They’re going to feel like they should have won the game.”

Agreed; the point gives the American team a shot of adrenaline in the arm and boost in confidence that they can advance into the next round.

Back to Dempsey’s goal. With the tally, he becomes the second American to score in two World Cups and his goal is sure to be featured on soccer blooper reels for decades to come.

Howard is looking forward to the next match and may take the time to nurse his ribs that were injured when he took a kick to the chest in the first half.

“The ribs are sore,” said Howard. “I was going to try and give myself another ten minutes and carry on to half-time, but also I didn’t want to be stupid and carry on if I wasn’t fit enough. Sometimes I’m hard-headed that way! But the adrenaline kicked back in, the pain meds kicked in and I got through it. I was glad I [stayed in the game].”

MORE: FIFA.com Game Stats Here.

Copyright ©2010 Sports Climax, LLC