College football Week 9 is in the books so it’s time again to take a look at what we learned from the BCS Top 25 teams. 
No.1 Auburn vs. Mississippi. Auburn breaks the curse and wins 51-31.
What did we learn?
1) Heisman candidate quarterback Cam Newton could probably throw a touchdown pass to himself at this point.
2) Ole Miss RB Brandon Bolden has all the right tools to be on Dancing with the Stars.
No.2 Oregon vs. USC. Ducks win 53-32.
What did we learn?
1) The Oregon Duck is surprisingly flabby for doing so many pushups.
2) LaMichael James makes scoring look easy. He also makes 5’9” look like 5’6”.
No.3 Boise State vs. Louisiana Tech. Smurf turf wins 49-20.
What did we learn?
1) Quarterback Kellen Moore’s response to being benched is to throw an interception.
2) Even the Boise State male cheerleaders do girl pushups.
No.4 TCU vs. UNLV. Horned Frogs cakewalk 48-6.
What did we learn?
1) Home field advantage doesn’t matter when there are more people on the sideline than there are in the stands.
2) UNLV coach Bobby Hauck said his team needed to play error free against TCU; mission unaccomplished when you lose by more points than there are days in a month.
No.5 Michigan State vs. No.18 Iowa. Hawkeyes dominate in a 37-6 win.
What did we learn?
1) It doesn’t matter how much time you give Kirk Cousins; he will find a way to throw an interception.
2) If you intercept the ball, you should pitch it to someone much faster than yourself.
No.6 Missouri vs. No.14 Nebraska. Cornhuskers upset Mizzou 31-17.
What did we learn?
1) Missouri’s red zone defense is the best in the nation because their opponent scores way before they enter that part of the field.
2) In the spirit of Halloween, Bo Pelini went as that guy from the VW commercials (Peter Stormare).
No.8 Utah vs. Air Force. Utes squeak by with a 28-23 win.
What did we learn?
1) Nobody, including the announcers, knows why the Air Force helmets have a lightning bolt on them.
2) The Utes did everything in their power to lose this game but luckily they were playing guys with lightning bolts on their helmets.
No.9 Oklahoma vs. Colorado. Sooners win 43-10.
What did we learn?
1) Based on Bob Stoops play calling, he would be great at sign language.
2) If going winless in your conference counted for something, then Colorado would have that something.
No.11 Ohio State vs. Minnesota. Buckeyes in a rout 52-10.
What did we learn?
1) Jim Tressel dressed up like a ghost for Halloween but had no idea he did this.
2) The Minnesota band claps every time there is a touchdown, regardless of which team scores.
No.13 Stanford vs. Washington. Cardinals win 41-0.
What did we learn?
1) Jake Locker was hit more times than a Vegas blackjack table during Spring Break.
2) Washington must really like punting the ball.
No.15 Arizona vs. UCLA. Wildcats win 29-21.
What did we learn?
1) Regardless of your weight and overall shape, if you have long brown hair, you will be called Troy Polamalu.
2) Chest bumps are out, but chest-to-shoulder bumps are totally in.
No.16 Florida State vs. North Carolina State. Wolfpack with the upset 28-24.
What did we learn?
1) The NC State trumpet players are very similar to the British Palace Guards, except for the fact that they don’t guard anything and they’re not British.
2) The second half for the Seminoles was more disappointing than the movie Rocky VI.
No.17 Oklahoma State vs. Kansas State. Cowboys win 24-14.
What did we learn?
1) OK State’s QB Brandon Weeden has probably been able to buy booze since he was in fifth grade.
2) The best way to tackle a player is to pull his jersey until he eventually just falls down. It helps if two people can team up to do this.
No.19 Arkansas vs. Vanderbilt. Razorbacks win easily 49-14.
What did we learn?
1) Gaining 13 total yards in three quarters is every bit as bad as it sounds.
2) If you’re an Arkansas wide receiver, your leg is now injured.
No.20 South Carolina vs. Tennessee. ‘Cocks win 38-24.
What did we learn?
1) Tennessee coach Derek Dooley’s ‘do that looks like Jimmy Johnson’s in the larva stage.
2) South Carolina has a small fence of bushes at the back of their end zones.
No.21 Mississippi State vs. Kentucky. Bulldogs win 24-17.
What did we learn?
1) It’s okay to cry in front of your teammates if you have dreadlocks.
2) The best way to paint the word ‘the’ on your chest it to do it diagonally.
No.22 Miami vs. Virginia. UVA wins 24-19.
What did we learn?
1) Apparently it’s perfectly acceptable to rush the field when you beat a backup quarterback.
2) There were more penalties in this game than script pages in Kazaam.
No.24 Nevada vs. Utah State. Wolf Pack survive 56-42.
What did we learn?
1) The amount of athletes wearing high socks was evenly distributed between these two teams.
2) Stiff-arming no one still looks cool.
No.25 Baylor vs. Texas. Bears win 30-22.
What did we learn?
1) The Longhorns were on pace to break the single game field goal record. They didn’t.
2) Watching Texas play is more disappointing than watching Deal or No Deal.
BCS Top 25 Week 8 – “What We Learned” – Sports Climax
NFL Week 8 scores and recap – Sports Climax
Used with permission of the author.
Logan Rhoades is a Los Angeles-based writer and contributor to Sports Climax. With an extensive knowledge of ESPN topics and celebrity gossip, he is known for mixing sports and pop culture to entertain his readers. Check out his “Skip to My Logan” blog and Follow him on Twitter @loganrhoades.
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