NFL nicknames. . . . so what’s involved with creating one?

Look at this recent Twitter tweet from ESPN analyst Adam Shefter:

“The two Panthers scheduled to visit our bus today are Smash and Dash, RBs DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart.”

This ingenious nickname derives from the power and strength of Jonathan Stewart matched with the speed and agility of DeAngelo Williams, thus giving us ‘Smash’ and ‘Dash’. However, as with any great nickname, there is some controversy involved.

According to legend, the nickname ‘Smash and Dash’ was originally created by LenDale White and Chris Johnson. Not wanting to give up the rights to the name, White renamed the two Panthers RB’s, ‘Identity’ and ‘Theft’. Obviously, Stewart and Williams did not approve of this new name and arguments ensued.

Are you kidding me? Are these four players seriously fighting over this nickname? ‘Smash and Dash’ sounds like something the ambiguously gay duo would come up with. I honestly would not be surprised if Ace and Gary went out on a mission as Smash and Dash.

Between ‘Batman and Robin’ and ‘Smash and Dash’, the NFL is starting to sound like a comic book. What happened to the good ole days when football nicknames were original?

A time when ‘Sweetness’ had nothing to do with your taste buds, when ‘The Refrigerator’ was more than a kitchen appliance and when there was nobody closer to the sky than Ed ‘Too Tall’ Jones. A time when NFL nicknames were pertinent.

During the 1970’s, we were introduced to ‘The Steel Curtain’. This name not only represented the Pittsburgh Steelers fierce defensive style, but it sent a message to all others in the league; if you try to get past us, you will fail.

The in the mid 80’s along came ‘The Monsters of the Midway’. This nickname also struck fear into the hearts of opponents and led the Chicago Bears to one of the most impressive wins in Super Bowl history.

But now it seems like that tradition is long gone. Today’s nicknames are generic and maintain no significance whatsoever.

For instance, let’s investigate NFL wideouts Terrell Owens and Chad Ochocinco. These are two of the most stubborn wide receivers in the league, both notorious for complaining about teammates (unless it’s Tony Romo). They have exactly zero experience playing together and as far as we know, neither live in Gotham City. So, how exactly does that qualify them to be named after the most dynamic duo ever, Batman and Robin?

The answer is simple; it doesn’t.

These two situations just prove that NFL nicknames are about as relevant as Nicholas Cage. I think it’s time that we revoke player’s rights to nickname one another, and we just start again from scratch. 

Unfortunately, Chad Ochocinco found a loophole…

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Used with permission of the author.

Logan Rhoades is a Los Angeles-based writer and contributor to Sports Climax. With an extensive knowledge of ESPN topics and celebrity gossip, he is known for mixing sports and pop culture to entertain his readers. Follow him on Twitter @loganrhoades.

Copyright ©2010 Sports Climax, LLC

While the New York Jets may be the most boisterous team this off-season and are the subject of HBO’s “Hard Knocks” series this summer, the most fascinating locker room in 2010 may be the Cincinnati Bengals. 

The outspoken roster led by wide receiver/reality TV dancerChad Ochocinco has been augmented this season by controversial defensive back Adam “Pacman” Jones and equally-loquacious wide receiver Terrell Owens.  This motley crew debuted for the first time last night and kicked off the NFL preseason losing 16-7 to T.O.’s former team, the Dallas Cowboys.

The pairing of Ochocinco and Owens might be the most fascinating and unpredictable one this season.  Ochocinco has already come up with a name for the “dynamic duo” announcing on Twitter that T.O. will be Batman, while he will play Robin.  (This photo-shop pic is worth a look.)

What can we expect from these self-titled “superheroes” in 2010? 

For starters there should be plenty of creative end zone acts.  After all, this is the same tandum that has given us some of the league’s most notorious end zone celebrations – from Ochocinco’s “bribing” of a referee and donning a sombrero to Owens’ autographing a football with a Sharpie and stomping on the Cowboy’s logo at midfield during a game. 

Don’t be surprised if the Dynamic Duo pay more in fines to Commissioner Roger Goodell this season than some Wall Street firms paid to the SEC.

This pairing is worth watching but not because of their thespian talents, because they are likely to go up in flames.  Ochocinco has long griped about not getting the ball enough (as he did last year), and that may only get worse with T.O. on the other side of the line of scrimmage. Likewise, Owens has been known to voice similar gripes, as he did with former teammates Jeff Garcia, Donovan McNabb and Tony Romo.  Add to the mix another free agent, former Bucs wideout Antonio Bryant, and you have to expect at least one disgruntled receiver in Cincy.

The real winner in all this could be Bengals QB Carson Palmer.  While he will have an improved crew of wideouts, at the very least he should be entertained all year.  Here’s hoping that T.O. tearfully defends his “teammate/quarterback” – and doesn’t instead question his sexuality.

While last night’s sneak preview of Batman & Robin was tame with Owens snagging two passes for 18 yards and Ocho-5 being held off the stats sheet, it’s still only the trailer for this train wreck.  Will the final NFL adaption of the show be worse than the big-screen version?

Used with permission of the author.

Chris Lardieri covers the Los Angeles Dodgers for Examiner.com and has written about Major League Baseball for Inside Edge, a scouting company that provides content to ESPN Insider and Yahoo Sports. He previously wrote for 1766, the Rutgers Alumni Magazine, and popular blog, ‘The Outer Loop’.  Be sure to follow Chris on Twitter for more MLB and sports observations.

Copyright ©2010 Sports Climax, LLC