NFL Draft, Goodell dodges boos and heckles

The 2011 NFL Draft first round is in the books and like any other year contained a few surprises.

Here’s a rundown of the first round that went smoothly once NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell dodged boos and heckles from the NFL fans attending the Radio City event in New York.

1) Carolina Panthers: Cam Newton (QB – Auburn)

Seconds after being drafted, Cam Newton announced that he was going to go on a “much-needed vacation”. Looks like he could be the most mentally ready athlete for a lockout the league has ever seen.

2) Denver Broncos: Von Miller (LB – Texas A&M)

Handshakes are for the weak. Von Miller gives bear hugs. Commish Roger Goodell may want to get a ribs x-ray after that one.

3) Buffalo Bills: Marcell Dareus (DT – Alabama)

He started walking up to the stage before Roger Goodell even called his name. Possibly the greatest pick ever, considering he can see into the future.

4) Cincinnati Bengals: A.J. Green (WR – Georgia)

It’s unfortunate that we will never see Carson Palmer throw an interception in the direction of A.J. Green.

5) Arizona Cardinals: Patrick Peterson (DB – LSU)

As far as suits matching team colors go, Peterson was the runaway winner of the night.

6) Atlanta Falcons (from Cleveland Browns): Julio Jones (WR – Alabama)

The Falcons gave up a lot for this pick, but Julio Jones’ infrared vision in the jungle is just something you can’t get anywhere else.

7) San Francisco 49ers: Aldon Smith (DE – Missouri)

In retrospect, this pick is very obvious. The 49ers love grabbing mediocre athletes with the last name “Smith”.

8) Tennessee Titans: Jake Locker (QB – Washington)

After viewing a Jake Locker highlight reel featuring interceptions and incomplete passes, Vince Young bought a new steak restaurant.

9) Dallas Cowboys: Tyron Smith (OT – USC)

“He has the wingspan of a pterodactyl.” And you know what they say about pterodactyls ability to play in the NFL…

10) Jacksonville Jaguars (from Washington Redskins): Blaine Gabbert (QB – Missouri)

The good news is that Gabbert won’t have to deal with a loud atmosphere as he develops his skills.

11) Houston Texans: J.J. Watt (DE – Wisconsin)

Don’t be fooled by his name. He’s a defensive end from Wisconsin.

12) Minnesota Vikings: Christian Ponder (QB – FSU)

Ponder possibly has the best pump-fake into non-spiral combo you will ever see.

13) Detroit Lions: Nick Fairley (DT – Auburn)

As soon as the Lions announced Fairley’s name, Jay Cutler went down with a season-ending injury.

14) St. Louis Rams: Robert Quinn (DE – UNC)

Quinn did not play a single snap during the 2010 season. In all fairness, though, he had about as much productivity as the Rams defense did.

15) Miami Dolphins: Mike Pouncey (C – Florida)

Pouncey is reportedly very excited to play in front of Fergie, Marc Anthony, and J-Lo. No comment yet on Gloria Estefan.

16) Washington Redskins (from Jacksonville Jaguars): Ryan Kerrigan (LB – Purdue)

Kerrigan should have a great year if he can stay away from Albert Haynesworth and that should be easy if he shows up to practice and is on the field during the game.

17) New England Patriots: Nate Solder (OT – Colorado)

A little bit of an odd pick for the Patriots. I guess Bill Belichick saw something the other teams didn’t… like a Colorado football game.

18) San Diego Chargers: Corey Liuget (DT – Illinois)

Could be the most underrated player in the draft. Probably not, though.

19) New York Giants: Prince Amukamara (CB – Nebraska)

As a member of the Nigerian Royal family, Prince Amukamara is… f**king awesome. Amiright?

20) Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Adrian Clayborn (DE – Iowa)

He played tight end in high school. He couldn’t fit into a hat when he walked on stage. I’m sure his weight will not be a problem in the pros.

21) Cleveland Browns (from Kansas City Chiefs): Phil Taylor (DT – Baylor)

I’d be surprised if Taylor’s draft jersey could fit around his head.

22) Indianapolis Colts: Anthony Castonzo (OT – Boston College)

Note to self: Do not talk to Anthony Castonzo when he is on the phone. I repeat. Do NOT talk to him.

23) Philadelphia Eagles: Danny Watkins (G – Baylor)

Watkins wanted to be a firefighter when he first entered college. Leave it up to the NFL to crush a kid’s dream.

24) New Orleans Saints: Cameron Jordan (DE- California)

Jordan’s biggest struggle coming into the league will be whether or not he can find a Joakim Noah-inspired stylist in New Orleans.

25) Seattle Seahawks: James Carpenter (T – Alabama)

Nick Saban has never heard of James Carpenter before. That’s probably a good sign. Solid pick there, Seattle.

26) Kansas City Chiefs (from Cleveland Browns/ formerly Atlanta Falcons pick): Jonathan Baldwin (WR – Pittsburgh)

James Baldwin wears the same number as Dwayne Bowe. So aside from skills, height, weight, and hand strength, that’s about all they have in common.

27) Baltimore Ravens: Jimmy Smith (CB – Colorado)

Jimmy Smith is good for at least six interceptions and three arrests next season.

28) New Orleans Saints (from New England Patriots): Mark Ingram (RB – Alabama)

Great pick here. The Saints finally have a Heisman running back.

29) Chicago Bears: Gabe Carimi (OT – Wisconsin)

The Bears are now only four offensive linemen away from being decent.

30) New York Jets: Muhammad Wilkerson (DT – Temple)

You just don’t pass on a DT from Temple.

31) Pittsburgh Steelers: Cam Heyward (DE – Ohio State)

Heyward’s jersey is already on sale on eBay. Troy Smith has it listed at $49.99.

32) Green Bay Packers: Derek Sherrod (OT – Mississippi State)

Sherrod will likely be the best Caledonia Confederate player ever selected in the first round of the NFL Draft.

Used with permission of the author.

Los Angeles Based Logan Rhoades is the Associate Editor of the website With an extensive knowledge of ESPN topics and celebrity gossip, he is known for mixing sports and pop culture. Check out his “Skip to My Logan” blog and Follow him on Twitter @loganrhoades.

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