Author Archives | Logan Rhoades

Top 25 Week 2 scores – “What We Learned”

The scores for NCAA football Week 2 are in, so let’s take a look at what we learned from the AP Top 25 college teams.

No. 1 Oklahoma was idle.

No.2 LSU vs. Northwestern State. Tigers win 49-3.

What did we learn?

1) If you want to play well, just have your starting quarterback arrested.

2) Demons are overrated.

No.3 Alabama vs. No.23 Penn State. Tide roll to a 27-11 victory.

What did we learn?

1) Alabama is very good at pretending like they intercepted the ball. They happen to be quite good at actually intercepting it, as well.

2) Penn State attempted a “White Out” for this game. Unfortunately, it was a home game, so their team wore blue. Also, it did not work.

No.5 Florida State vs. CSU. Seminoles win 62-10.

What did we learn?

1) Charleston Southern is not the powerhouse their fans thought they could be.

2) Florida State really let their guard down in the third quarter; CSU completed a pass.

No.6 Stanford vs. Duke. Cardinal dominate 44-14.

What did we learn?

1) Andrew Luck is so bored that he is now trying to complete passes off of player’s helmets. It’s been a failed experiment thus far.

2) The track around Duke’s football field is in mint condition. And based on this game, I’m guessing their practice field is too.

No.8 Wisconsin vs. Oregon State. Badgers win 35-0.

What did we learn?

1) Russell Wilson should just stop going to class.

2) If you punted the ball for a loss of yards, you might be a Beaver.

No.9  Oklahoma State vs. Arizona. Cowboys win 37-14.

What did we learn?

1) Arizona has voted “No” to adding Oklahoma State to the Pac-12.

2) Justin Blackmon is already picking out his Heisman suit.

No.10 Nebraska vs. Fresno St. Cornhuskers win 42-29.

What did we learn?

1) For three quarters, Nebraska showed some legitimate signs of a true Big 10 team.

2) Fresno State’s kicker could get faked out by his own shadow.

No.11 Virginia Tech vs. East Carolina. Hokies win 17-10.

What did we learn?

1) East Carolina would have finished with more rushing yards had they taken a knee every down.

2) Pirates are surprisingly disciplined.

No.12 South Carolina vs. Georgia. Gamecocks survive with a 45-42 victory.

What did we learn?

1)  276 lbs moves a lot quicker than you’d imagine. It slows down at about a pace you’d expect, though.

2) Mark Richt’s seat is so hot right now, that E! is pitching it as a reality show.

No.13 Oregon vs. Nevada. Ducks win 69-20.

What did we learn?

1) It’s safe to say that the Wolf Pack’s secondary just stopped trying after the coin toss.

2) Had Darron Thomas played the entire game, he would have probably passed for 17 touchdowns.

No.14 Arkansas vs. New Mexico. Razorbacks win big 52-3.

What did we learn?

1) The Lobos highlight reel is just a bunch of footage of them not giving up a sack.

2) This game was close until the Razorbacks put up 45 unanswered points.

No.15 Ohio State vs. Toledo. Buckeyes hold on for a 27-22 victory.

What did we learn?

1) Terrelle Pryor definitely helped his team by declaring for the NFL. Just like he said.

2) It’s difficult to beat a ranked team when you rack up twice as many penalty yards as you do rushing yards.

No.16 Mississippi State vs. Auburn. War Eagles win 41-34.

What did we learn?

1) The guy at Buffalo Wild Wings pressed the wrong button.

2) Scoring on the goal line is about as difficult as calling for a timeout.

No.17 Michigan State vs. Florida Atlantic. Spartans win big, 44-0.

What did we learn?

1) An Owls first down is the equivalent of seeing a real-life Unicorn.

2) This game was so out-of-hand that the Spartans just starting lying on the ground to catch passes.

No.18 Florida vs. UAB. Gators win 39-0.

What did we learn?

1) If you’re going to open up the game with a flea-flicker, you should probably make sure that your quarterback is warmed up first.

2) By the time the final whistle blew, the Gators had more points on the board than fans in the stands. And, obviously, more points than UAB too.

No.19 West Virginia vs. Norfolk State. Mountaineers win 55-12.

What did we learn?

1) The Spartans forgot that there are four quarters in away games.

2) The Mountaineer’s beard is in full playoff-hockey mode.

No.21 Missouri vs. Arizona State. Sun Devils pull of the upset, 37-30.

What did we learn?

1) Arizona State attempted a “Black Out” for this game. Their team wore black. It worked.

2) Recruit a kicker. Don’t let him walk-on.

No.22 South Florida vs. Ball State. Bulls win 37-7.

What did we learn?

1) This game was over after the first eight seconds. And for five of those seconds, the Bulls didn’t even have the ball.

2) USF quarterback B.J. Daniels probably used velcro strap shoes until he was 18.

No.24 Texas vs. BYU.  Longhorns survive with a 17-16 victory.

What did we learn?

1) Garrett Gilbert had as many complete passes as interceptions. Fact.

2) Even the Longhorn Network is afraid to air UT’s next game.

No.25 TCU vs. Air Force. Horned Frogs win 35-19.

What did we learn?

1) If we’re only looking at conference games, the Horned Frogs are still undefeated.

2) Aside from the score, this game was about as close as you can get, stats wise.

Used with permission of the author.

Los Angeles Based Logan Rhoades is the Associate Editor of the website JocksBehindBars.com. With an extensive knowledge of ESPN topics and celebrity gossip, he is known for mixing sports and pop culture. Check out his “Skip to My Logan” blog and Follow him on Twitter @loganrhoades.

Copyright ©2011 Sports Climax, LLC

Posted in Features, NCAA, Recent Buzz0 Comments

Hope Solo – ESPN “The Body Issue” shoot

US Women’s soccer goalkeeper Hope Solo made headlines last week when she tweeted a nude picture of herself in a bathrobe stating earlier, “Being naked outside is very liberating…”

The now infamous tweet (and picture) was a reference to her photo shoot for ESPN: The Magazine’s annual “Body Issue”, in which the hottest sports’ stars of the year strip down to their birthday suit, yes naked, to celebrate their fit bodies.

Look, all you need to know is that this spread is the closest you will ever get to seeing Hope Solo totally in the nude but before you get too excited, remember this is ESPN we’re talking about, not Playboy. So if you were hoping for some sort of X-Rated material you’ll need to use your imagination.

But if you’re looking for a toned core, some resemblance of a bicep, and strong thighs then you’re in luck and depending on the pose we might get a look at her bare booty. There’s just no way of confirming that at this point; fingers crossed, though, right guys? And I suppose ladies can also root for an ass shot; we don’t discriminate here. In fact, we would support a female on female shot if the other participant was, say, Danica Patrick.

While creative and considered “art”, this photo shoot may take Hope Solo out of the running as a role model. Most self-respecting mothers may not want a naked picture of a female soccer star hanging in her soccer-playing daughter’s bedroom.

By posing for this year’s “Body Issue” Hope Solo has suddenly become the sex symbol of the US Women’s soccer team. Sure, she may already have a following, but there was a battle for the title going on between her and Alex Morgan but that epic battle seemed to end the moment this picture of Hope splashing around in the fountain was tweeted around the world.

Alex Morgan is now the sweetheart of the group, and Hope Solo is the badass sexy one.

Was it destiny?

Alex Morgan has an innocent look about her. She’s young, bright-eyed and if she had a tail it would be bushy. Hope, on the other hand, has a much more aggressive look going on.

Hope Solo may become enemy Numero Uno for a lot of girlfriends out there. Instead of just being a good-looking soccer goalkeeper, she may soon become the risqué and sexy hottie guys may be fantasizing about.

Expect this issue of ESPN Body Magazine to fly off the shelves.

Follow Hope on Twitter.

Used with permission of the author.

Los Angeles Based Logan Rhoades is the Associate Editor of the website JocksBehindBars.com. With an extensive knowledge of ESPN topics and celebrity gossip, he is known for mixing sports and pop culture. Check out his “Skip to My Logan” blog and Follow him on Twitter @loganrhoades.

Copyright ©2011 Sports Climax, LLC

Posted in Features, Recent Buzz, The Mosh Pit0 Comments

NFL tattoos, who has the best ink?

Thanks to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and his love of fines, it’s been getting increasingly more difficult for professional football players to express themselves. The days of celebratory dances and post-touchdown gimmicks are over.

And unless you have extremely long hair (which is unfortunately making a comeback) your options of self-expression are pretty limited in the National Football League.

Luckily, though, there is always the art of ink.

Tattoos are everywhere these days. Just take one look around any NFL locker room and you’re bound to see endless images of skin art. Some tattoos are good, some are bad, but, mostly, they are just abundant. Like eating a Pringles chip, you just can’t stop at one.

It’s been called an addiction, and if that is the case, then Chris Johnson of the Tennessee Titans and Stevie Johnson of the Buffalo Bills need rehab.

As evidenced by his shirtless photo in this article, Chris Johnson definitely takes tattooing to a whole ‘notha level. His entire torso is tatted up, and on his left arm is picture of himself. He’s even reported as having his 40-yard dash time during the NFL combine tattooed upon his calf.

Stevie Johnson, on the other hand, seems to be a little less self-boasting. Granted, we’ve never seen him shirtless, which leaves the possibility for a Steve-O type of tattoo open, but we doubt he’d be that dumb. Based on the tats that we can see, it seems as though Stevie is more into showing off his roots than anything else.

So, the question now becomes, who is taking the best artwork onto the field?

As far as visibility goes, it’s pretty much a tie, only with a slight edge to Stevie. If teams played shirts and skins, then maybe CJ would win, but his uniform covers up the majority of his tattoos. The same goes for Stevie Johnson, but with one exception. Stevie’s got a neck tattoo. Sure, his helmet and chin strap make it difficult to see, but he doesn’t wear that stuff on the sidelines. Which means that his neck tattoo is visible for half the game. Or, in the case of the Bills, his tattoo is exposed for ¾ of the game. Therefore, point, Stevie.

Now in terms of overall style and design go, we have to give the edge to Chris Johnson. His fluidity of body art is great. It really is. He’s fairly symmetrical and you can tell that he thought about the location of his tattoos. Conversely, Stevie Johnson’s tattoos don’t seem to have any rhyme or reason to them at all. It looks like he chose his locations simply because they were available. So, for that reason, we have to give a point to Chris.

Okay, now it’s time to look at the final, and most important element: the tattoo selections. Who has the best tattoos?

To start off, let’s look at what they both have in common. Stevie and Chris both have tattoos of stars. Why? Well, because that’s what they are. Chris has already proven that he’s a staple in the league with three Pro Bowl appearances and numerous records, and Stevie practically catapulted himself into the limelight after an incredible season with the Bills last year.

Who has the better star? Well, we’ll leave that up to you.

Both players also have tons of meaningful tattoos that we have no clue about. We weren’t childhood friends with them and we’re not currently in their entourage, so names, dates and sayings mean nothing to us. So, in other words, we can’t judge those tattoos.

Therefore, by process of elimination (and limited body images), the only tattoos we can rate are the ones we can see and the ones that are identifiable.

We’ve already mentioned that CJ has a tattoo of his face on his arm, and his 40 time on his calf, but what we haven’t talked about it his CJ2K tattoos. On his right shoulder are the letters “CJ” with wings above it, and on his left shoulder is “2K”, also with wings. The tattoo symbolizes his self-appointed nickname “CJ2K”, which represents his milestone of rushing for over 2,000 yards in a season. Although that is quite an achievement, we have to admit that he’s a little too into himself for our liking. And, honestly, wings are overrated and way overdone.

So, due to his lack of “I’m Awesome” tattoos, Stevie Johnson wins this debate. Now if only we could get him to remove that Golden State Warriors tattoo…

Used with permission of the author.

Los Angeles Based Logan Rhoades is the Associate Editor of the website JocksBehindBars.com. With an extensive knowledge of ESPN topics and celebrity gossip, he is known for mixing sports and pop culture. Check out his “Skip to My Logan” blog and Follow him on Twitter @loganrhoades.

Copyright ©2011 Sports Climax, LLC

Posted in Features, NFL, Recent Buzz, The Mosh Pit0 Comments

Will Woods’ caddy spill his guts?

Tiger Woods fired his caddie Steve Williams Wednesday, ending a 12-year relationship that included the duo capturing 13 majors and over 70 worldwide victories and the news apparently surprised Williams, who is a long-time friend of Woods:

“Given the circumstances of the past 18 months… I am very disappointed to end our very successful partnership.”

Thinking outside the box, this may be the best thing that could have happened to this dude. Tiger is in a major slump right now and, frankly, I would not be afraid to challenge him to a round of golf next weekend. Okay, that’s a stretch but if I didn’t have a wicked slice off the tee I might give him a run for his money on a few holes.

But that’s another point.

Tiger is going downhill fast and the best thing for Williams to do may have been to detach himself from the downward spiral and even capitalize on his unique situation.

Nobody knows Tiger Woods like his caddy does. They spent years on the golf course, a prime location for sharing details and secret spilling.

Like many of the scandals in sports, we’ll probably never find out the whole truth about Tiger and his sexual addiction but think about the opportunities that may be presented to Williams…calls and huge offers from places like TMZ and Deadspin.

Once a plain caddy dragging around clubs, Williams may have suddenly become the most interesting man in golf. There is no better time than now for him to tell the rest of the world what the golf world doesn’t want us to hear. And by that, I mean what Tiger doesn’t want us to hear.

Woods has already “shocked” Williams so why shouldn’t the former club polisher give him a taste of his own medicine? The pair’s loyalty was broken the minute he handed over the pink slip.

Williams was a great caddy, a close friend, and one of the few true supporters of Tiger Woods after the whole cheating scandal broke. He was by his side through the good times and bad and what did he get for being so loyal?

Besides a truckload of money he got a backhand to the face in the form of walking papers. A friend should give you a heads up if he wants a change. Williams said it himself; that this firing came as a shock.

So why shouldn’t he take a turn and shock the world with what he knows?

Tell us the “truth” about Woods’ flings. Give us a number of how many ladies he’s actually banged in the after bar hours.

What is he like behind closed doors?

Does he use the n-word?

Have you shared ladies before?

Has he dabbled in the men’s department?

You know; things like that.

Look, you’ll never be in the spotlight again, so you need to capitalize on the current situation before we forget your name.

Write a book or at least give some sort of revealing interview before Tiger does it himself.

At the rate hot news fizzles out in the media nowadays, I’d say you have roughly… two weeks.

Used with permission of the author.

Los Angeles Based Logan Rhoades is the Associate Editor of the website JocksBehindBars.com. With an extensive knowledge of ESPN topics and celebrity gossip, he is known for mixing sports and pop culture. Check out his “Skip to My Logan” blog and Follow him on Twitter @loganrhoades.

Copyright ©2011 Sports Climax, LLC

Posted in Features, Golf, Recent Buzz0 Comments

Lakers get bitch slapped in sweep

Phil Jackson’s legacy ended with a bitch-slap this past Sunday compliments of the Dallas Mavericks who completed their sweep against the Los Angeles Lakers in record style.

Instead of heading into retirement with another championship ring, Jackson left to the thunderous sound of “Na-Na Na, Na… Na-Na, Na, Na…Hey, Hey, Hey… Goodbye!” bouncing off the rafters.

Although that dreaded song was not actually aimed at the most successful coach in NBA history it was dedicated to his team and their pathetic showing during a series where they spent half the time as no-shows. This earned the Lakers our Bitch-Slap-of-the-Week.

Let’s take a look back at this early playoff exit, shall we? (Cue the Wayne’s World flashback)

In Game 1, the Lakers blew a 16-point lead that culminated in two missed chances by Kobe Bryant in the final seconds to force the game into OT. The result was a two-point loss at home in front of a stunned celebrity crowd and an even more surprised Black Mamba, who did not even attempt a single layup or dunk during the entire game. Some would say this was a “steal”, but it’s safe to say that this game was more of a “giveaway” than anything else. Nice gesture by the Lakers, in my opinion.

Game 2 was highlighted with a clothesline on JJ Barea from Ron Artest, which led to his suspension in Game 3, and a 0-15 streak from behind the arc, which was only broken in the last few minutes of the game. By the time the final whistle blew, the Lakers had been defeated both mentally and physically and were greeted with boos as they left the court. During the post-game presser, Andrew Bynum decided to expose the team as having “trust issues” and stated that it was “deeply rooted”. Even though Bryant and Jackson dismissed these comments, it was too late, for the rumor mill was now in full force.

Perhaps the biggest rumor to be thrown into the mix was that Pau Gasol was underperforming because of an alleged bad breakup with his girlfriend. This came as a big shock, mostly because it came out of nowhere, but also because he’s a professional athlete and this is the playoffs we’re talking about. The playoffs. Although this rumor was later cleared, it still left plenty of spectators judging the 7-foot center, and there are still a ton of people out there that believe this to be true.

Game 3 featured another come-from-behind victory for the Mavericks as they erased a seven-point deficit with 5:05 left in the game. The Lakers gave up 32 points in the final quarter, which is unheard of in the Jackson-playoff era, and made “some of the dumbest defensive mistakes” the team has made all year long, as quoted by Kobe Bryant. The team looked exhausted and fatigued during the final stretch of the game and it would eventually carry over to the next game.

Game 4 will go down in the record books as one of the worst Los Angeles Lakers games in history. For the sake of time, we will not go over everything that went wrong. So here is a fast recap of what happened:

The Mavericks tied an NBA post-season record with eleven three-pointers in the first half and twenty for the game. Jason Terry tied a playoff record by making nine of those and the team finished with an improbable 74.0 field goal percentage. Ron Artest missed a breakaway dunk. Lamar Odom and Andrew Bynum both got ejected for frustration-driven fouls, although Bynum’s was by far more bush league. And the Lakers lost by 36 points, an NBA record differential in a closing game, which could have been even higher if the starters didn’t sit out the final minutes.

It was by all accounts, a terrible game. And that is why the Los Angeles Lakers are this week’s recipient of our bitch slap. Teams need to show up. That’s what they’re expected and paid to do.

Well, there’s always next year…wait…no there’s not. You don’t even have a coach anymore. “SLAP!” Man, you guys are screwed.

Used with permission of the author.

Los Angeles Based Logan Rhoades is the Associate Editor of the website JocksBehindBars.com. With an extensive knowledge of ESPN topics and celebrity gossip, he is known for mixing sports and pop culture. Check out his “Skip to My Logan” blog and Follow him on Twitter @loganrhoades.

Copyright ©2011 Sports Climax, LLC

Posted in Bitch Slaps, Features, NBA, Recent Buzz0 Comments

NFL Draft, Goodell dodges boos and heckles

The 2011 NFL Draft first round is in the books and like any other year contained a few surprises.

Here’s a rundown of the first round that went smoothly once NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell dodged boos and heckles from the NFL fans attending the Radio City event in New York.

1) Carolina Panthers: Cam Newton (QB – Auburn)

Seconds after being drafted, Cam Newton announced that he was going to go on a “much-needed vacation”. Looks like he could be the most mentally ready athlete for a lockout the league has ever seen.

2) Denver Broncos: Von Miller (LB – Texas A&M)

Handshakes are for the weak. Von Miller gives bear hugs. Commish Roger Goodell may want to get a ribs x-ray after that one.

3) Buffalo Bills: Marcell Dareus (DT – Alabama)

He started walking up to the stage before Roger Goodell even called his name. Possibly the greatest pick ever, considering he can see into the future.

4) Cincinnati Bengals: A.J. Green (WR – Georgia)

It’s unfortunate that we will never see Carson Palmer throw an interception in the direction of A.J. Green.

5) Arizona Cardinals: Patrick Peterson (DB – LSU)

As far as suits matching team colors go, Peterson was the runaway winner of the night.

6) Atlanta Falcons (from Cleveland Browns): Julio Jones (WR – Alabama)

The Falcons gave up a lot for this pick, but Julio Jones’ infrared vision in the jungle is just something you can’t get anywhere else.

7) San Francisco 49ers: Aldon Smith (DE – Missouri)

In retrospect, this pick is very obvious. The 49ers love grabbing mediocre athletes with the last name “Smith”.

8) Tennessee Titans: Jake Locker (QB – Washington)

After viewing a Jake Locker highlight reel featuring interceptions and incomplete passes, Vince Young bought a new steak restaurant.

9) Dallas Cowboys: Tyron Smith (OT – USC)

“He has the wingspan of a pterodactyl.” And you know what they say about pterodactyls ability to play in the NFL…

10) Jacksonville Jaguars (from Washington Redskins): Blaine Gabbert (QB – Missouri)

The good news is that Gabbert won’t have to deal with a loud atmosphere as he develops his skills.

11) Houston Texans: J.J. Watt (DE – Wisconsin)

Don’t be fooled by his name. He’s a defensive end from Wisconsin.

12) Minnesota Vikings: Christian Ponder (QB – FSU)

Ponder possibly has the best pump-fake into non-spiral combo you will ever see.

13) Detroit Lions: Nick Fairley (DT – Auburn)

As soon as the Lions announced Fairley’s name, Jay Cutler went down with a season-ending injury.

14) St. Louis Rams: Robert Quinn (DE – UNC)

Quinn did not play a single snap during the 2010 season. In all fairness, though, he had about as much productivity as the Rams defense did.

15) Miami Dolphins: Mike Pouncey (C – Florida)

Pouncey is reportedly very excited to play in front of Fergie, Marc Anthony, and J-Lo. No comment yet on Gloria Estefan.

16) Washington Redskins (from Jacksonville Jaguars): Ryan Kerrigan (LB – Purdue)

Kerrigan should have a great year if he can stay away from Albert Haynesworth and that should be easy if he shows up to practice and is on the field during the game.

17) New England Patriots: Nate Solder (OT – Colorado)

A little bit of an odd pick for the Patriots. I guess Bill Belichick saw something the other teams didn’t… like a Colorado football game.

18) San Diego Chargers: Corey Liuget (DT – Illinois)

Could be the most underrated player in the draft. Probably not, though.

19) New York Giants: Prince Amukamara (CB – Nebraska)

As a member of the Nigerian Royal family, Prince Amukamara is… f**king awesome. Amiright?

20) Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Adrian Clayborn (DE – Iowa)

He played tight end in high school. He couldn’t fit into a hat when he walked on stage. I’m sure his weight will not be a problem in the pros.

21) Cleveland Browns (from Kansas City Chiefs): Phil Taylor (DT – Baylor)

I’d be surprised if Taylor’s draft jersey could fit around his head.

22) Indianapolis Colts: Anthony Castonzo (OT – Boston College)

Note to self: Do not talk to Anthony Castonzo when he is on the phone. I repeat. Do NOT talk to him.

23) Philadelphia Eagles: Danny Watkins (G – Baylor)

Watkins wanted to be a firefighter when he first entered college. Leave it up to the NFL to crush a kid’s dream.

24) New Orleans Saints: Cameron Jordan (DE- California)

Jordan’s biggest struggle coming into the league will be whether or not he can find a Joakim Noah-inspired stylist in New Orleans.

25) Seattle Seahawks: James Carpenter (T – Alabama)

Nick Saban has never heard of James Carpenter before. That’s probably a good sign. Solid pick there, Seattle.

26) Kansas City Chiefs (from Cleveland Browns/ formerly Atlanta Falcons pick): Jonathan Baldwin (WR – Pittsburgh)

James Baldwin wears the same number as Dwayne Bowe. So aside from skills, height, weight, and hand strength, that’s about all they have in common.

27) Baltimore Ravens: Jimmy Smith (CB – Colorado)

Jimmy Smith is good for at least six interceptions and three arrests next season.

28) New Orleans Saints (from New England Patriots): Mark Ingram (RB – Alabama)

Great pick here. The Saints finally have a Heisman running back.

29) Chicago Bears: Gabe Carimi (OT – Wisconsin)

The Bears are now only four offensive linemen away from being decent.

30) New York Jets: Muhammad Wilkerson (DT – Temple)

You just don’t pass on a DT from Temple.

31) Pittsburgh Steelers: Cam Heyward (DE – Ohio State)

Heyward’s jersey is already on sale on eBay. Troy Smith has it listed at $49.99.

32) Green Bay Packers: Derek Sherrod (OT – Mississippi State)

Sherrod will likely be the best Caledonia Confederate player ever selected in the first round of the NFL Draft.

Used with permission of the author.

Los Angeles Based Logan Rhoades is the Associate Editor of the website JocksBehindBars.com. With an extensive knowledge of ESPN topics and celebrity gossip, he is known for mixing sports and pop culture. Check out his “Skip to My Logan” blog and Follow him on Twitter @loganrhoades.

Copyright ©2011 Sports Climax, LLC

Posted in Features, NFL, Recent Buzz0 Comments

NY Knicks get Bitch Slapped

On Sunday afternoon, the Boston Celtics defeated the New York Knicks 101-89 and capped off the first round sweep in bitch slap style.

After being one shot away from winning the first two games of the series, the Knicks looked like an entirely different ball club without Chauncey Billups and seemingly had no clue how to play like a team.

The Celtics manhandled the Knicks in front of a sold-out Garden and held them to just three field goals in the second quarter. There were bursts of competition for a few minutes, but the Celtics quickly derailed those as they pounded the paint and seemingly had no trouble finding the basket at all.

So now the question becomes, are the Celtics that good or are the Knicks that bad?

After perusing the footage and reading several post-game summaries, the runaway answer is that the New York Knicks are really that bad. In fact, they were so bad during this series that they earned our Bitch Slap of the Week.

We can blame their slump in scoring on the absence of Billups (who exited the series on a strained knee in the final minute of Game 1), or on the poor shooting of an injured Amare Stoudemire in Game 4 (who tweaked his back showing off during warm-ups in Game 2), but we cannot overlook the fact that the Knicks offense never seemed to work like a unit for more than one quarter.

Carmelo Anthony couldn’t buy a bucket during the playoff opener and ended up missing 10 of 11 shots in the second half, including the potential game-winner. He also had a game-high 5 turnovers, 5 personal fouls and was just 2-8 from downtown.

On top of committing a game-crushing offensive foul, he also had zero vision on the court and was never able to find the hot hands of Stoudemire when it mattered most. The two were on completely different wavelengths during the entire second half and allowed the Celtics to come back from a 12-point halftime deficit.

Game 2 was a complete turnaround for Anthony as he netted 10 of 22 shots and matched his career playoff high of 42 points, but was let down by the rest of his teammates, who shot a pathetic 12 for 47 from the field.

And just like in Game 1, the final shot was given to the wrong guy.

In the final seconds, an open Jared Jeffries was handed the rock underneath the basket, which was dished out by a double-teamed Anthony, and basically blew the game by attempting to pass the ball instead of going straight up with it. It was the right play to draw up for the worst player to execute.

When the series is on the line, you don’t call a play for the guy who averages about a layup per game just because he had an unprecedented double-digit night. You find a way to get your star an open shot, especially when that star is shooting lights out. Every successful team has managed to do it in the playoffs, so there is no reason why it couldn’t happen here.

Game 3 was simply embarrassing. In front of a home playoff crowd for the first time in 10 years, the Knicks let the Boston Celtics walk all over them and ended up trailing the entire game. By the end of the third quarter, the fans at Madison Square Garden had seen enough and booed the team as they walked off the court and into the locker room.

Anthony was streaky, connecting on just 4 of 16, and Stoudemire was supposedly on the court the entire game, but only managed to muster up two field goals while snagging merely three rebounds. It was an all around collapse on both ends of the ball and it ended up exposing the Knicks for what they truly are– a bad team.

Whether it was self-inflicted injuries (Stoudemire), bad decision-making (D’Antoni/Anthony/Jeffries), or just flat out poor play (everyone), the Knicks just never seemed to have a grasp on teamwork. They looked extremely sloppy for the majority of the series and were unable to come together when they really needed to.

A single player going off night after night does not win championships. If it did, then LeBron would still be in Cleveland and he would have multiple rings. But for whatever reason, the New York Knicks have yet to grasp this obvious concept.

History shows that championships are won when the players around the stars play consistently down the stretch and there was never a glimpse of that happening for New York. The first two games were luck and the last two games were reality. It’s as simple as that and the Knicks should be thankful that they even made the playoffs.

Used with permission of the author.

Los Angeles Based Logan Rhoades is the Associate Editor of the website JocksBehindBars.com. With an extensive knowledge of ESPN topics and celebrity gossip, he is known for mixing sports and pop culture. Check out his “Skip to My Logan” blog and Follow him on Twitter @loganrhoades.

Copyright ©2011 Sports Climax, LLC

Posted in Bitch Slaps, Features, NBA, Recent Buzz0 Comments

Crying Heat get Bitch Slapped

Recently, the Miami Heat lost to the Chicago Bulls 86-87. The loss capped off Chicago’s season sweep over the Heat and marked the third time in their last four games that Miami has blown double digit leads.

Perhaps the more alarming stat, though, is that the Heat are now a devastating 1 for 18 on potential game-tying or go-ahead shots in the final seconds of the fourth quarter or overtime this season. If that’s not enough, they are also now 0-9 against the top two teams in each conference (Boston, Chicago, San Antonio and Dallas, respectively).

To make matters even worse, and perhaps unintentionally adding fuel to the fire, head coach Erik Spoelstra told the media during the post-game presser that “there are a couple guys crying in the locker room right now”.

BITCH SLAP!

Look, Erik, I don’t care if you have since retracted that statement and are now claiming that the media spun it the wrong way by taking your words out of context. The damage is done. And honestly, unless you added a big “NOT!” at the end of that sentence, then we all have a reason to make fun of the team for having a circle-tear-jerk in the locker room. You guys brought this on yourselves; it’s that simple.

I believe Dwyane Wade said it best when he told the media:

“The world is better since the Heat is losing.”

Besides not being grammatically correct, it pretty much perfectly sums up the public’s opinion on the team.

When you throw an arena celebration for three of your players and guarantee a championship before the first practice whistle has even been blown, then yeah, we get to give you shit when you lose. After LeBron did his infamous “count up” saying the Heat would win “not two, not three, not four. . . .” .all the way to seven before he was interrupted, what else would this cocky bunch expect.

When you are winless against the top teams in the league, but still act like you’re the best team out there and when you consistently fail to make the clutch plays over and over again and cry because of it, then yes, we get to bitch slap you.

Nobody said that winning would be easy, which is why you guys shouldn’t have acted like you won a title before the season started. It’s great and all that you can beat up the weaker teams in your division to pile up your wins, but if you can’t pull out a victory over the top teams in the league, then what do you think will happen once you enter the playoffs? Newsflash: those weak teams are no longer playing. So the time has come for you to start acting like the team that you’ve been talking about since free agency ended.

And one more thing, when you lose, don’t make a smartass comment and act like you’re the victim. Just for that here’s a backhanded bitch slap for good measure. If you suspect the media’s negative feelings towards your boisterous ego have caused you to miss shots in the waning seconds of the game, we had no idea our words could do so much damage. Now that we know the strength of our powers, should we hold back? We wouldn’t want to make you cry or anything…

Used with permission of the author.

Jay Donetelli is a Tampa-based freelance sportswriter and contributor to Sports Climax. With an opinion sharper than an Ovechkin skate blade with the sting of an Ali jab, Donetelli has a loyal cult of readers who have found a way to love him.

Copyright ©2011 Sports Climax, LLC

Posted in Bitch Slaps, Features, NBA, Recent Buzz0 Comments

Cubs use Derek Jeter on billboard

The MLB baseball preseason has barely started and the Chicago Cubs have already managed to become the laughing stock of the league yet again. Just when you think you’ve seen it all with the Cubs, the franchise comes out with this!

You are not looking at a photo-shopped image–what you see on the right is an actual billboard in Chicago featuring the fourth-runner-up for Rookie of the Year, Starlin Castro, and future Hall of Famer Derek Jeter.

On top of being one of the most mocked teams in sports history, the Cubs are now officially the dumbest. It’s not enough that they haven’t won a World Series in 102 years, but now they can’t even find two of their own players to put on a billboard and resort to using a New York Yankee to market the team.

How pathetic.

One would assume that after throwing away all of those players to acquire Matt Garza that they would want to show him off, but of course they didn’t do that. The only reason they could have had for putting Derek Jeter on the billboard, besides the fact that they’ve given up, is that they believe in jinxes.

I know it’s a long shot, but follow me on this one.

The Chicago Cubs have to believe in jinxes/curses. And if they don’t, then their fans certainly do. They’ll look for any reason to place blame on a losing season and a jinx/curse seems to be the most common.

The way I see it is that the organization wanted to put their rising star on the billboard, but feared that Castro had way too good of a season last year and would undoubtedly fall into a sophomore slump this season. With that in mind, they basically had two options for the billboard.

If they put him on the billboard with a fellow Cubs player, Castro’s crappiness would rub off on the other player, resulting in two bad players. However, if they put another team’s player on the billboard, perhaps someone better than Castro, then maybe, just maybe, that other player’s greatness would rub off on Castro. If not, then Castro’s crappiness would most definitely rub off on him.

When you look at it that way, the choice is obvious. No harm can come from putting Derek Jeter on the billboard with Starlin Castro. Except for everyone making fun of it, of course. But let’s forget about that. If Castro ends up not falling in the sophomore slump, then the anti-jinx worked. If Castro does fall into the slump, then it’s a good thing that he didn’t bring one of his teammates with him. And who better to use for this experiment than Yankee-great Derek Jeter? He’s the perfect candidate. He is a solid performer every season, so he’s basically like the control in this situation. It makes absolutely 100% sense!

The single flaw in this logic is that the Cubs only play the Yankees three times this season, so if they intended for Castro to jinx the other player, then they should have picked a guy from a team that they play more. Then again, we are talking about the Cubs here, so it’s not like they really think these things through.

I’m sure Harry Caray would be proud regardless.

Used with permission of the author.

Los Angeles Based Logan Rhoades is the Associate Editor of the website JocksBehindBars.com. With an extensive knowledge of ESPN topics and celebrity gossip, he is known for mixing sports and pop culture. Check out his “Skip to My Logan” blog and Follow him on Twitter @loganrhoades.

Copyright ©2011 Sports Climax, LLC

Posted in Features, MLB, Recent Buzz0 Comments

Brett Favre – Dancing With the Stars

A couple days ago, it was rumored that Brett Favre would be a cast member on the new season of Dancing with the Stars Season 12. The big media outlets were picking up the story, all the sports sites were talking about it, and everyone had the same question: Is it true?

Thankfully, Brett’s daughter Brittany Favre addressed the issue on Twitter by tweeting, “No to DWTS rumors.” So now we can all relax and stop speculating because Brittany answered the question for us. After all, she would know better than anyone else what he’s doing. I mean, it’s not like Brett makes decisions without notifying her or keeps any secrets from his family. Oh, wait, he totally does do that.

Let the rumors continue!

Just kidding, there is no way that Brett Favre will be dancing on television any time in the foreseeable future. He may be notorious for grabbing attention at the most unexpected times, but this rumor is just ridiculous. It won’t happen and the reasons why are simple.

Brett is not far enough removed from football to put his competitive nature into something other than that sport. He needs time to wind down, take his mind off of football and relax his muscles before he starts up in another demanding physical competition. And if you think for one minute that Dancing with the Stars would not whoop Brett’s ass, then you are completely wrong.

I’m not saying that performing the samba is tougher than facing the Bears defense for four quarters; all I’m saying is that these weekly routines put a lot of wear and tear on a person’s body, and frankly, Brett isn’t ready for that. We have no clue what kind of shape he is in right now. He has a bum: ankle, knee, shoulder, wrist, and back. And let’s not forget that he has been extremely prone to injuries lately, so that list could stretch even longer if he doesn’t cool down for a couple months.

The fact of the matter is that he just finished his 20th season in the NFL that culminated in a season-ending injury, and is now facing some serious family issues at home. He won’t compete because he can’t. His body won’t let him, his family won’t let him, and most of all, ABC won’t let him.

At the end of the day, ABC is a family network, and Brett’s recent lack of family values and judgment is a big indication as to why he won’t be cast in the show. Until Brett Favre can change his terrible family-man image, he will never step foot on the set of Dancing with the Stars. It’s as simple as that.

So for all of you out there who were hoping to see Brett bust a move, you’ll just have to deal with watching this footage of him dancing during a Vikings practice.

He’s actually not that bad… ya know, for a white guy.

Used with permission of the author.

Los Angeles Based Logan Rhoades is the Associate Editor of the website JocksBehindBars.com. With an extensive knowledge of ESPN topics and celebrity gossip, he is known for mixing sports and pop culture. Check out his “Skip to My Logan” blog and Follow him on Twitter @loganrhoades.

Copyright ©2011 Sports Climax, LLC

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